Ephesians 2:8
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.
Lately, I find it a coincidence that all of the sermons I hear at church are things I need to hear or are about situations I am currently going through or have gone through recently. I'm starting to take what GOD is showing me and apply it to my life and to help me have closure from my past. If I were to write this blog like I normally do, you'd think I was crazy. Hopefully with GOD's help I will have a clear mind and can write this in an understandable way.
Let me start out by saying that God has been nothing but GRACIOUS to me and my family. I don't deserve HIS love. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were yet sinners, CHRIST died for us." Romans 5:8
Until recently, I've had a lot of doubt in GOD. When my grandpa died 15 years ago, I let the devil take control of my life. Grief overwhelmed me and I didn't know what to do. I started getting bullied at school and it made me mad and bitter. GOD was there the whole time I was just blind. Two years went by I grieved more when I lost my other grandpa and felt a lot of guilt. I felt guilty because right before his surgery he told me he loved me and I didn't hear him. A few hours later he died and I never got to say goodbye. The devil replayed that day in my head for years so the guilt continued, I couldn't let it go so therefore I never found closure, so I mourned his death for 13 years. Even tho I was an active member at church, in the youth and choir the devil still found ways to tempt me through my suicide attempts, rage, fornication, lies and deceiving. I'm sure he found humor in it, but GOD had a plan! After Jesse and I got married the devil still made sure I knew he was still interested my life. I had been in a
spiritual battle all this time and I hadn't noticed.
He really got my attention in 2008, I had distanced myself so far away from GOD. Tori and I started experiencing unexplainable things. One Sunday morning I found it hard to sing at church. (I know it sounds crazy, but it physically hurt my mouth to sing. I'd try to sing but nothing would come out.)
Tori was having dreams about a witch, then she started seeing it in her bedroom at night. I told her to ignore it and just pray if she saw it again. She came to me one day and said the witch won't leave, not long after that I started experiencing things at home. So many things happened to me that I called paranormal investigators to do an investigation in the house. I never got the results of the investigation, but afterwards things started getting worse. I did a photo shoot in a grave yard,I was portraying a widow in her wedding dress at her husband's grave. While taking off the dress, I noticed I had cuts all over my back that were not there before the shoot. During the shoot I didn't do anything that would cause them and I did not feel anything cut me. The cuts were gone after a week. Not long after that while walking down the hall I heard someone say "momma". The kids were in bed asleep and it was NOT either of their voices, it sounded like a teenage girl. A few nights later I saw a black mist by the window in our computer room and again a few days after my aunt Ann died. Last fall we moved out of that house. We moved in with my parents while trying to find a bigger place because I was pregnant with Eli and needed more room. I saw the black mist twice while living there.
A few months ago I rededicated my life to CHRIST and that was fuel to add to the devils fire. He let me know again that he was still around. I've not seen or heard anything in the new house, but I've been pushed down the stairs twice since August. The first time was right after we joined our church, it didn't really hurt but it got my attention. The second time was about a month ago, but I wasn't as lucky as the first time. I fell down most of the stairs and almost woke Jesse up to take me to the ER to get an x-ray of my arm. The difference between the "encounters" in the old house, mom and dad's and now this one is that the devil was in control in the other houses, but NOT this one. I think he knows he's losing me to GOD and now trying anything to get to me. Before, I'd be terrified, but now I just say "GOD, he's at it again, please protect my family and me" and I feel at peace.
GOD has given me so much strength and peace and has opened my eyes so much since I rededicated my life. He's working on our marriage now.(the one area in my life that the devil is still trying to control) It's the last but also the most important thing and I know he's well aware of that. The sermon I mentioned in the beginning was something I wish Jesse and every couple (dating and married) could have heard in person. Jesse and I have (in a since) been to hell and back in our relationship. It went from great to bad to worse for 7 of our 9 years of marriage. I finally stood up to the devil when I had enough and said no more.
I was tired. Tired of the lies and lying and deceiving and repeating my adolescence. He was no longer going to control me. It's hard to sit here and try to explain our relationship, but let me tell ya we're both stronger than I thought I'd ever be or expect a husband to be. We've both put up with so much b.s. from each other, but that's "true" love I guess. Before I post the sermon I want to say that this is a really emotional topic for most couples and it made me cry. Hearing it made me come to terms with everything I had done wrong not only as a wife, but as a mother. This is what the devil is clinging to and hoping we don't get fixed. It's never going to be perfect, but GOD can pick up the pieces and put it back together. Since I was a kid I've heard your marriage should be built on a foundation of GOD. (The story goes that if you build your house by the shore and the sand is your foundation (the sand being the devil) then the sand will slowly wash away, but if it's built on a solid foundation (ie GOD) then it can't wash away.)
It sounds so simple, yet it was so hard for me to do and look at all that it has caused us. I'm praying that this helps open the eyes of anyone who's heart may be deceived just like ours were.
I really wish we'd heard this sermon before we got married, but I may not have learned the lesson that I needed to so I can be where I'm at right now.
Ephesians 5:21-33, one of the most controversial parts of scripture.
I'll let this article explain why, but first read the verses...
Now to explain why this is so controversial. I am taking this from http://www.wouldjesusgothere.com/wjgt-articles/on-marriage/provocative-bible-verses-marriage
This was the topic of the sermon.
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.
Lately, I find it a coincidence that all of the sermons I hear at church are things I need to hear or are about situations I am currently going through or have gone through recently. I'm starting to take what GOD is showing me and apply it to my life and to help me have closure from my past. If I were to write this blog like I normally do, you'd think I was crazy. Hopefully with GOD's help I will have a clear mind and can write this in an understandable way.
Let me start out by saying that God has been nothing but GRACIOUS to me and my family. I don't deserve HIS love. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were yet sinners, CHRIST died for us." Romans 5:8
Until recently, I've had a lot of doubt in GOD. When my grandpa died 15 years ago, I let the devil take control of my life. Grief overwhelmed me and I didn't know what to do. I started getting bullied at school and it made me mad and bitter. GOD was there the whole time I was just blind. Two years went by I grieved more when I lost my other grandpa and felt a lot of guilt. I felt guilty because right before his surgery he told me he loved me and I didn't hear him. A few hours later he died and I never got to say goodbye. The devil replayed that day in my head for years so the guilt continued, I couldn't let it go so therefore I never found closure, so I mourned his death for 13 years. Even tho I was an active member at church, in the youth and choir the devil still found ways to tempt me through my suicide attempts, rage, fornication, lies and deceiving. I'm sure he found humor in it, but GOD had a plan! After Jesse and I got married the devil still made sure I knew he was still interested my life. I had been in a
spiritual battle all this time and I hadn't noticed.
He really got my attention in 2008, I had distanced myself so far away from GOD. Tori and I started experiencing unexplainable things. One Sunday morning I found it hard to sing at church. (I know it sounds crazy, but it physically hurt my mouth to sing. I'd try to sing but nothing would come out.)
Tori was having dreams about a witch, then she started seeing it in her bedroom at night. I told her to ignore it and just pray if she saw it again. She came to me one day and said the witch won't leave, not long after that I started experiencing things at home. So many things happened to me that I called paranormal investigators to do an investigation in the house. I never got the results of the investigation, but afterwards things started getting worse. I did a photo shoot in a grave yard,I was portraying a widow in her wedding dress at her husband's grave. While taking off the dress, I noticed I had cuts all over my back that were not there before the shoot. During the shoot I didn't do anything that would cause them and I did not feel anything cut me. The cuts were gone after a week. Not long after that while walking down the hall I heard someone say "momma". The kids were in bed asleep and it was NOT either of their voices, it sounded like a teenage girl. A few nights later I saw a black mist by the window in our computer room and again a few days after my aunt Ann died. Last fall we moved out of that house. We moved in with my parents while trying to find a bigger place because I was pregnant with Eli and needed more room. I saw the black mist twice while living there.
A few months ago I rededicated my life to CHRIST and that was fuel to add to the devils fire. He let me know again that he was still around. I've not seen or heard anything in the new house, but I've been pushed down the stairs twice since August. The first time was right after we joined our church, it didn't really hurt but it got my attention. The second time was about a month ago, but I wasn't as lucky as the first time. I fell down most of the stairs and almost woke Jesse up to take me to the ER to get an x-ray of my arm. The difference between the "encounters" in the old house, mom and dad's and now this one is that the devil was in control in the other houses, but NOT this one. I think he knows he's losing me to GOD and now trying anything to get to me. Before, I'd be terrified, but now I just say "GOD, he's at it again, please protect my family and me" and I feel at peace.
GOD has given me so much strength and peace and has opened my eyes so much since I rededicated my life. He's working on our marriage now.(the one area in my life that the devil is still trying to control) It's the last but also the most important thing and I know he's well aware of that. The sermon I mentioned in the beginning was something I wish Jesse and every couple (dating and married) could have heard in person. Jesse and I have (in a since) been to hell and back in our relationship. It went from great to bad to worse for 7 of our 9 years of marriage. I finally stood up to the devil when I had enough and said no more.
I was tired. Tired of the lies and lying and deceiving and repeating my adolescence. He was no longer going to control me. It's hard to sit here and try to explain our relationship, but let me tell ya we're both stronger than I thought I'd ever be or expect a husband to be. We've both put up with so much b.s. from each other, but that's "true" love I guess. Before I post the sermon I want to say that this is a really emotional topic for most couples and it made me cry. Hearing it made me come to terms with everything I had done wrong not only as a wife, but as a mother. This is what the devil is clinging to and hoping we don't get fixed. It's never going to be perfect, but GOD can pick up the pieces and put it back together. Since I was a kid I've heard your marriage should be built on a foundation of GOD. (The story goes that if you build your house by the shore and the sand is your foundation (the sand being the devil) then the sand will slowly wash away, but if it's built on a solid foundation (ie GOD) then it can't wash away.)
It sounds so simple, yet it was so hard for me to do and look at all that it has caused us. I'm praying that this helps open the eyes of anyone who's heart may be deceived just like ours were.
I really wish we'd heard this sermon before we got married, but I may not have learned the lesson that I needed to so I can be where I'm at right now.
Ephesians 5:21-33, one of the most controversial parts of scripture.
I'll let this article explain why, but first read the verses...
21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives and Husbands
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Now to explain why this is so controversial. I am taking this from http://www.wouldjesusgothere.com/wjgt-articles/on-marriage/provocative-bible-verses-marriage
This was the topic of the sermon.
Over the years these words have been used as a hammer to get women to do whatever a man says, no matter what. The fact is, these words are avoided today by men and women in large part because most people have no clue what Paul was really saying. So here is your chance to finally get a correct understanding of this very provocative piece of Scripture.
In order to understand what Paul meant we absolutely must get the context. That means ignoring the little “helpful” headings that most publishers put throughout the passages of your Bible.
What usually happens is that people jump right in on verse 22, “Wives submit to your husbands”. Any discussion of submission starts and stops with the wife submitting to her husband. But look just before the start of verse 22. What do you see? There is a little heading that was inserted by the publisher. The intent is to let you know that a new subject is coming. The subject is Husbands and Wives. Paul never wrote those words there. It is not a new subject in verse 22 and the heading only serves to cause huge problems in interpretation. Let’s take out this little helpful heading and read verse 21 in context with 22 to 33. Verse 21 is an instruction for all of us to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. What Paul then does is give examples for people in various life situations on how to submit to one another. He says “wives, here is what submission to your husband means in your life. But then he immediately goes to the husbands and says, this is what submission to your wife looks like for you, “Love your wife in the same way Christ loves the church. Lay down your life for her”.
Yes wives are to submit to their husbands in the same way the church submits to Christ. What does that look like? It means following his lead and serving him out of love. It is not a blind obedience but a following that comes from a relationship of trust and mutual esteem. Husbands are to submit their desires to their wife by serving her to the point of death. Husbands are to “die to themselves” and do all they can to help their wives become the beautiful, precious bride, that Christ also has in mind for the church. For most men the idea of laying down their life for their wife will immediately go to fighting off an attacker or pushing her away from an oncoming bus while you take a grill to the chest. The chances of either of those opportunities happening are astronomically slim. What is far more likely is that husbands will be asked to die to themselves and submit to their wives by doing dishes, caring for the kids so she can have a day away, ironing her clothes, or making her lunch. It includes helping her achieve her dreams and become all that God made her to be. It means putting her first.
For wives, submission means putting him first. It means to honour and respect him. I have seen far too many cases of wives who never have an encouraging word for their husband. They never have an honoring or respectful thing to say about him or to him. In fact in our culture, ridiculing a husband has almost become a national sport. How hard is it to find something nice to say about the person you are married to? Every man marries a woman wanting her to think that he is the greatest guy in the world. When all he gets is berating and ridicule, the relationship is in deep trouble.
Some will disagree with me that Paul is talking about mutual submission between husbands and wives and try to make a distinction between a wife’s submission and a husband loving his wife by laying down his life. I say they are the same thing. The further proof of that is how Paul continues in chapter 5 beyond verse 33. He goes on to tell slaves how they are to serve/submit to their master and how masters are to serve/submit to their slaves. He goes even further and does the same thing in the relationship between parents and children. The bottom line is back in verse 21. We are all to put others before ourselves and serve one another, even submit to one another as Christ serves us. We are all to submit our desires and wants in order to bring out the best in the other person. This is not about being abused or humiliated. Biblical submission is about honoring another person as one made in the image of God and seeking to do all we can for their honor and well being. That is Christ-like submission of wives to husbands and husbands to wives.